Saturday, January 29, 2011

This story brings tears to my eyes.

Story on marriage life..

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. 
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. 
I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry.
 She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! 
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. 
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. 
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore.
 I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, 
and 30% stake of my company.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.  
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. 
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what
 I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
 To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
 The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. 
I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because 
I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, 
but needed a month's notice before the divorce. 
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. 
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and 
she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how 
I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry 
her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
 I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
 bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. 
. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
 No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
 So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. 
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. 
His words brought me a sense of pain. 
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. 
She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. 
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. 
She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
 She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
 I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.
 I realized she was not young any more. 
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
 Our marriage had taken its toll on her. 
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. 
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
 I didn't tell Jane about this. 
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. 
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. 
She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. 
Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
 I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason
 why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
 Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,
 it's time to carry mom out. 
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother 
out had become an essential part of his life. 
My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
 hugged him tightly. 
I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind 
at this last minute. 
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room,
 to the hallway. 
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. 
I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. 
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
 Our son had gone to school.
 I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
 I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. 
Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. 
Do you have a fever? She said. 
I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. 
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives,
 not because we didn't love each other anymore. 
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
 I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. 
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
 I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. 
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
 I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, 
I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. 
She knew that she would die soon and
 she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, 
in case we push thru with the divorce.
-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
 It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. 
These create an environment conducive for happiness
 but cannot give happiness in themselves. 
So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
 Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were
 to success when they gave up.

Credit to my friend azniza for this story..

Pesanan: Hargailah apa yang ada disekliling kita..Dont take this for granted..

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Tempat keje saye.. ini adalah response kepada post fath iaitu "workspace",kawan-kawan..ini adalah meja saya...Kosong je sebab baru sangat lagi duduk sini..tak sampai sebulan..mungkin dah setahun saya post balik tajuk nie cuma tambah sikit: tempat keje saye..setelah Harap-harap tak bersepah la ye...hihi

Tadaaaa....Ni la meja saya tempat saya cari ilham buat proposal dan keje-keje admin...Plus berfacebooking and berblogging...hoho

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

IU-Good Day Romanization and Eng Sub

Lagu terbaru kesukaan saya dari IU yang bertajuk Good Day..


eojjeom ireohke haneuren deo paran geonji
oneul ttara wae barameun tto wanbyeok hanji
geunyang moreuneun cheok hana mot deureun cheok, jiwo beorin cheok
ttan yaegil shijal halkka amu mal mot hage ib machulkka

nun muri chaollaseo gogael deureo
heureuji mot hage tto saljjak useo
naege wae ireo neunji museun mareul haneunji
oneul haetdeon modeun maljeo haneul wiro

hanbeon do mot haetdeon mal
ulmyeon seo hal jureun na mollat deon mal
naneun yo oppa ga joheun geol eotteokhae

saero bakkwin nae meoriga byeollo yeot neunji
ibgo nawatdeon oshi shilsu yeotdeon geonji
ajik moreuneun cheok, gieok an naneun cheok
amu il eobtdeon geot cheoreom gureo bolkka geunyang naga jago yaegi halkka

nun muri chaollaseo gogael deureo
heureuji mot hage tto saljjak useo
naege wae ireo neunji museun mareul haneunji
oneul haetdeon modeun maljeo haneul wiro

hanbeon do mot haetdeon mal
ulmyeon seo hal jureun na mollat deon mal
naneun yo oppa ga joheun geol
(hyu) eotteohke

ireon nareul bogo geureon seulpeun mareun haji mara yo
cheol eobtneun geonji jogeum dunhan geonji mideul suga eobtneun geol yo

nun mureun na oneunde hwaljjak useo
ni apeul makgo seo mak keuge useo
naega wae ireo neunji bukkeu reomdo eobtneunji
jajom shimeun gobge jeobeo haneul wiro

hanbeon do mot haetdeon mal
eojjeomyeon dashin mothal baro geumal
naneun yo oppa ga joheun geol
“aigoo hana dul!”

I’m in my dream~
(It’s too beautiful, beautiful day. Make it a good day
Just don’t make me cry)
ireohke joheun nal

Eng Sub:

Why is the sky so much bluer than I thought it’d be?
Why does the breeze today feel as perfect as can be?
Pretending not to know, pretending not to hear,
Should we try to forget and just change the subject?
Should we just kiss right now, and not say a word?

Tears start to gather, so I raise my head.
I try to smile so they don’t start to fall.
Why are you like this now? What are you saying to me?
All of the things we’ve talked about have flown away.
Crying aloud, with you here,
Unexpected words started to escape me.
I like you, Big Brother, I like you!
..What to do?

Was my new hairstyle something that you didn’t like?
Am I wearing clothes that don’t really suit the real me?
Pretending not to know, Pretending to forget,
Should I just pretend like nothing ever happened?
Should I just say that we both should go out?

Tears start to gather, so I raise my head.
I try to smile so they don’t start to fall.
Why are you like this now? What are you saying to me?
All of the things we’ve talked about have flown away.
Crying aloud, with you here,
Unexpected words started to escape me.
I like you, Big Brother, I like you!
..What to do?

Don’t say those kind of things,
While you look down at me, with the saddest look. (With the saddest look.)
Am I childish? Or just a slow thinker?
This is so unbelievable!

Even though I’m crying, I try to smile.
I try to block your way, with a big smile.
Why am I acting bold? Do I not have any shame?
I fold up my pride, and throw it up to the sky.
The words that I’ve never said,
The words I might never get to say again,
I like you, Big Brother, I like you.
One, two, three.

I’m in my dream!
(It’s too beautiful. Beautiful day.)
(Make it a good day.)
(Just don’t make me cry.)

It’s been such a Good Day.

Tiada semangat????...teruskan membaca artikel ini..

 Hidup ini kadang-kadang perlukan kata-kata semangat untuk membolehkan kita bangun dan terus berusaha mencapai matlamat kita. So, sape yang nak bagi kate-kate semangat itu? Pensyarah ke?Parents ke?Girlfriend or boyfriend kite ke?

Sebenarnye,jika tiada orang yang sudi nak bagi kita kate-kate semangat..Tidak menjadi masalah!!  Kita boleh dapatkan kate-kate semangat dengan search dalam internet.Internet ini sumua benda ade.Cakap je tak tahu ape..sume bole didapati dalam internet.Saya kalau buka komputer,google search and google translate memang tak pernak tinggal.. :-) Dua benda ni memang saya buka selalo..Nak tau sebab ape..Sebabnya kalau tetiba lost and takde idea nak buat ape..bole minta "pendapat internet"..hehehe 

Harini saya minta bantuan kawan saya iaitu "internet" untuk berkongsi dengan bloggers sume tentang kate-kate semangat yang memangat beri semangatlah kalau bace...

"Percaya dengan impian anda dan  hiduplah seperti mana yang anda inginkan."
"Ketahuilah bahawa kesusahan itu akan membuka pendengaran dan penglihatan, menghidupkan hati, mendewasakan jiwa, mengingatkan hamba dan menambah pahala."
"Kegagalan bukan bermakna anda tidak mencapai apa-apa.Ia bermakna anda telah mempelajari sesuatu."
“Prepare for the best, plan for the worst and expect to be surprised.”
 “Today is not a good day to give up”

Sunday, January 23, 2011

cuti hujung minggu yang best!

Hari jumaat lepas saya balik rumah kat Seremban..Saya memang tiap-tiap minggu balik rumah..Bukan apa,seronok balik rumah nie..Dapat makan sedap-sedap..Mak saya suka masak dan pandai masak..hehehe..Anak kene la puji masakan mak die kan..?? =p

Pada hari selasa lepas..adalah hari jadi mak saya dan khamis pulak adalah hari jadi adik saya yang bongsu nama Anis..So disebabkan ade 2 orang sambut besday dalam minggu yang sama..Ayah saya pon bawak makan-makan di Port Dickson..

Malam sabtu,kitaorang sekeluarga pegi makan kat sana la (PD)..selalu pegi satu tempat ikan bakar nie..tapi malam semalam kedai makan tu tutup plak..pegi la tempat lain..Kitaorang sekeluarga pegi makan kat restoran atas laut..restoran tu berhampiran dengan Hotel Permaisuri..Suasana malam tu sangat yaman...tempat tu pon cantik!!Ayah saya memang order banyak la..Kitaorang makan ketam masak cili padi,udang galah goreng,tomyam campur,sayur khailan ikan masin,ikan 3 rasa dan lala masak sambal..Sedap giler tau masakan diorang..Ah,terliur plak bila menulis nama-nama makanan di atas..Terasa nak makan lagi!! Satu je pelik masakn restoran itu ialah tomyam dia..Penuh dengan binatang dilaut!!hahahaa..ade lala,kerang,sotong,udang,daging dan ayam..memang aneh la..hehe,,,tapi kitaorang makan je..Tambah 3 kali nasi,,Harga okey la..Dalam RM190..Makan tuk 7 orang..Ayah belanja...seronok2!!hehehe

Arini dah kembali ke rumah sewa semula..Okay,,nak start buat proposal dan baca journal.Semoga jumpe lagi di lain post...Tata..Titi..Tutu..

Friday, January 21, 2011


Kenyataan: Hidup sebagai student postgrad amat-amatlah merungsingkan..Percaya tak? 

Okay...Ini adalah realiti ye kawan-kawan..Maybe orang lain rase sambung belajar macam best..Kononnya..Jeles kat Si A (bdk master seperti saye nih) hari-hari bukak facebook..Jalan sini sana..Sikit-sikit upload gambar...Pegi makan kat tempat grand sikit amik gambar..beli pencuci muka kat mines pon nak amik gambar..Nampak macam best je!! Manakala, yang Si B plak (orang dah keje) pagi petang siang malam pegi keje yang tak pernah-pernah nak habis..Setiap mase ada je kerja..Tak dapat nak online and jalan-jalan macam Si A..Nak rase jugak hidup bebas camtu..

Ya!!memang jadi student postgrad sangat bebas..Tapi jika salah guna kebebasan ini lah buat seseorang tu sampai sudah tak habis-habis jugak blajarnya..Itu adalah paling menakutkan!!So,apa ya merungsingkan ialah soalan-soalan seperti ini:

1)Susahnya nak buat proposal..apetah nak letak dalam literature review..@_@
2)macam tak paham je method experiment nie
3)agak-agak bila la lab work bole siap nih
4)pening bila bace journal..dah 15 kali bace pon tapi tetap rase macam belum pernah bace je .. =p
5)errmm...harap-harap dalam 2 tahun bole la graduate*angan2*
6)dah 2 bulan buat experiment..last2 tak jadi..bole pengsan wooo...*die*
7)supervisor asyik busy je...bila la bole jumpe die..
8)duit grant macam nak abes...
9)takutnya nak viva...
10)saya tak tahu nak mula tulis thesis dari chapter mane
11) dan seterusnya....

So..sebenarnya jadi student postgrad tidak lah semudah sebutan a..b..c..Keje susah..blaja pon susah..So..apa yang boleh kita buat ialah "usaha", "doa" dan "tawakal" je...Bila dah buat keputusan nak belajar..kena buat betul2..ok tu je...sekian...enjoy gambar di bawah...

kenapa anda suka pakai labcoat

Sunday, January 16, 2011

My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho

Hye semua..Korang ingat lagi tak cerita Boys Over Flowers?Bestkan cerita tu..So,pada sesiapa yang minat giler tengok cite Korea..Nie ade lagi satu cita Korea baru yang best..tajuk dia My Girlfriend is a Gumiho...Cita nie dilakonkan oleh Lee Seung Gi dan Shin Min Ah.Mereka sangat kiut okay!!hehehe..

Cha Daeng Woong(Lee Seungi) secara tidak sengaja melepaskan Gumiho,seekor rubah lagenda yang dikatakan suka memakan hati manusiaApabila dia mengetahui identiti gadis itu,dia melakukan pelbagai perkara gila-gila bagi menghalang Gumiho memakan hatinya.

Dalam cerita ini setiap watak mempunyai theme song masing-masing.Lagu-lagu soundtrack memang sangat best!!Tak rugi kalau nak download lagu ost diorang.Antara lagu yang saya suka ialah fox rain,trap,the person i love(miho theme). Ada juga lagu yang dinyanyikan oleh Lee Seung Gi..


Lee Seung Gi won Best Actor 2010 (SBS Drama Award)
Shin Min Ah won Best Actress 2010(SBS Drama Award)
Lee Seung Gi and Shin Min Ah won Best Couple 2010 (Hoi Hoi Couple)(SBS Drama Award)

*please tengok cerita ini kalau nak tau Hoi Hoi itu ape...heeeee =)

Kalau nak download lagu boleh refer website nie:  (Kredit to:Starones)

So,pada yang belum tengok lagi..Sila tengok ye...Cita nie best..Sangat romantik...Love it!!

Proposal,journal dan makmal...

Tajuk dia atas macam boringkan..tapi itulah 3 perkara yang asyik berlegar-legar dalam fikiran ni sejak 2 minggu yang lalu.Nak tido pon asyik terpikir je camna nak gabungkan 3 benda nie dengan baik agar masa saya tidak dibazirkan..Actually,bukan masa je..bahkan duit pon boleh dibazirkan jika saya tak pandai nak adjust 3 perkara nie supaya betul2 fix dengan masa yang saya sudah set dalam fikiran ni.

Proposal ni adalah ibarat kertas kerja tentang apa yang kita nak buat dalam projek master kita.Dalam proposal,antara perkara yang perlu adalah introduction,literature review,objectives,hypothesis,method and material and expected result.Ini adalah perkara yang penting perlu dimasukkan ke dalam proposal kita nanti.

Journal ini adalah artikel penyelidikan yang mengandungi semua maklumat di dalam proposal berserta result dan discussion.Bagi membuat proposal,kita kene rujuk banyak journal agar mudah kita mendapat idea apa yang kita nak buat nanti. Tapi pada yang sudah banyak pengalaman dalam research, anda mungkin ade idea nak buat method sendiri.Itu pon boleh juga.Yang penting bila orang question apa yang kita buat,kita mesti tahu nak jawab...hehehe

Okey..nanti saya nak buat in-vitro punya makmal saya ada peralatan tuk teknik ini..Cuma bilik tu da lama tak digunakan.Mungkin kalau ada maa nak bersihkan bilik tu dan boleh start buat cell culture.Tak sabar nak belajar teknik jaga cell.Nampak macam menarik..hihi Penat tengok Pudin buat je..So,nanti nak gak cuba..

Okay..nak sambung cari modal nak buat proposal nih..Dah 2 minggu..progres masih half..Adehh...Kena settlekan cepat2 nih..Pada kawan-kawan yang tengah buat master..Bertabahlah...Buat master bukan senang okay...Banyak sangat kena baca dan critical thinking perlu ada!Penting tu!Kalau tak,sampai bila-bila pon takkan ada  progress.

Sekian sahaja dari saya...

Friday, January 14, 2011

Budak Postgraduate

Salam semua...Terima kasih pada yang sudi melawat blog baru ini.Baiklah..Pada sesiapa yang belum tahu..sekarang ni saya dah jadi pelajar siswazah..Dalam kata lain budak master.Bila dah jadi budak master,banyak benda kena buat sendiri.Tak boleh dah bergantung dengan orang lain.Pasal projek research pon supervisor hanya bagi idea sahaja.Proses penyediaan proposal dan juga lab work kena buat sendiri.Kalau tak tau bole minta tunjuk ajar dari senior.

Sebenarnye dalam projek master, saya ada melibatkan radioactive (radiobiology),ilmu saya dalam bidang ini adalah zero.Oh,sungguh teruk kan?Tapi nak buat macam mana..Tiada benda yang senang dalam dunia ni.Kena lah belajar dari mula.Sekarang ni dalam proses memahami teknik2 yang akan digunakan dalam research methodology saya.

Dalam bidang research,kita tidak boleh membuat segala experiment mengikut kesukaan hati sendiri.Kena refer journal.Ha..cakap pasal journal,bagi seseorang student master yang cemerlang,dia seharusnya perlu membaca journal sekurang-kurangnya 2 journal sehari.Tapi journal yang dibaca bukanlah secara rawak ye..Journal yang dibaca tu kena ada kena mengena dengan projek kita agar mudah kita membuat thesis kemudian nanti.

Okay,mesti nak tau saya dah baca berapa journal kan?Disebabkan mood nak buat master baru bermula..(bak kata orang macam baru nak start engine) jadi journal yang saya baca hanyalah 10 sahaja.Sikitkan?Padahal saya dah jadi student master dah 2 minggu.Kene berubah ni.. =)

Tulisan tangan hazirah menerangkan teknik in-vitro
Lagi satu projek saya ada melibatkan culture cell.Mulai semalam saya dah start belajar dengan senior.Nama die Pudin.Baik orangnya.Sudi ajar saya yang memang zero knowledge ni T_T!..Lepas tu housemate saya hazirah pon banyak bagi penerangan tentang jaga culture cell (rujuk gambar di atas).Saya first time ni buat projek guna cell culture.Seram pon ade..Takpe..bak kata supervisor,"Take your time to learn.Don't rush things."

Okay petang ni nak lunch dengan kawan-kawan dekat alamanda kot.So,kena siapkan method in-vitro saya sebelum pukul 11.00 .Lunch hour harini panjang,so bole jalan-jalan kejap.Pukul 3 ada date belajar cell culture ngan Pudin.Okay,tu je..nanti sambung lagi...Da...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Saya Cerita Kamu Baca

Hai semua...Okay ini blog baru saya..Hihihi.. :-) Mulai harini,saya akan post apa-apa yang saya suka kat sini okay..Blog lama dah malas nak update..Tahun baru,kene ada blog baru..Ye tak?? Saya saja nak test blogspot punya domain.Mane tau lagi best dari wordpress..Papepon sekarang masih tak boleh ditentukan lagi..Kena tunggu hingga akhir tahun.

Review tahun 2010:

Tahun 2010 merupakan tahun yang penuh dengan suka dan duka..Duka mungkin banyak kot..hehe...Tapi pada tahun 2010 lah mengajar saya banyak tentang kehidupan supaya menjadi matang dan tidak bergantung harap sangat pada orang lain.Cuma bergantung pada family je!! :-)

Tahun 2010 juga terlalu banyak perubahan berlaku pada diri dan juga kerjaya.Kalau bab kerjaya tu memang sangat banyak dugaan ditempuhi.Benarlah kata orang,dunia belajar lain dengan dunia kerja.Walaupapepon,saya tetap suka tempuhi alam perkerjaan. Pada tahun ini jugalah saya menerima segulung ijazah setelah berhempas pulas selama 4 tahun di UPM.(Rujuk gambar).Sungguh seronok berada di alam universiti.Alhamdulillah,dengan izin-Nya saya sekali lagi berada di alam Universiti tapi kali ini berlainan suasananya.

Muka gembira bila dapat pakai topi grad!

Merenung masa depan..

Kasih sayang ibu hingga ke syurga...
Review 2011:
Masih baru dan tidak dapat dikupas dengan lebih panjang.Walaubagaimanapun..pada permulaan tahun ini saya sudah mula merasa "give up".Tetapi rakan-rakan sekeliling banyak membantu dan beri semangat.Semoga Allah kuatkan hati saya dan rakan-rakan agar tempuhi alam postgrad dengan tabah dan penuh keyakinan.InsyaAllah...
"When there is a will,there is a way"...
Okay..dah malam..nak gosok baju dan tido...Selamat malam semua!! :-)